watched fantasia today, the he sui pian starring louis koo, lau ching wan, jordan chan, cecilia cheung, twins etc.. very retro, quite crazy but pretty fun. then went borders for a while before proceeding straight home to rot till now. i seriously don't know how i spent my time. i have done nothing once again. not even watched the vcds i bought. oh yeah and i bought sammi cheng's mi century. it's all quite classic though i wish they included a few other good songs and cut down on the cheesy kpop-esque techno numbers.

i chose not to go over to my grandma's house after the movie. even though my dad and mum kept asking me to go and rejecting them didn't make me feel so nice. not even the thought of gambling enticed me. i am just wishing i can live as a recluse right now. i'm just a-n-t-i-s-o-c-i-a-l. morris assures me i'm normal though. i still think otherwise. (oh yeah i wish i could have made it but hope you have a good commisioning parade!)

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i am trying to recall. i remember counting down the days to the chinese new year and how i couldn't wait for it to come. i remember the excitement in my father's car on my way to visiting relatives the first day of cny all decked in new clothes. i remember one year turning an auntie's clothing shophouse upside down. i remember how i'd check the amounts in the ang pao when my relatives weren't around. i remember how much i looked forward to them gambling the only game i knew and how my father would never let me place a bet of more than 5 bucks. i remember how i played cards with my cousins, sulking when my relatives refused to play our game. i remember rolling down the green hilly patch in front of my grandmother's house, ending up itching all over and getting a scolding. i remember how we finished aerated soft drinks by the bottles. i remember how my cousins and i loved playing with sparklers at night and how we'd throw them across the night sky, leaving a trailing blaze. i remember our obsession with fire and how we burnt a shoe. i remember we couldn't care less even when the adults scolded us.

and how could i have nearly forgotten chinese new year was my favourite festival of the year?