i nearly freaked out like just now. there was a huge flying cockroach in my living room. it doesn't get easier to disgust me. thank god my brother killed it. i sadistically took charge of disposing it. hah. seriously usually i'd close an eye if a cockroach doesn't look too big or like it's gonna disturb me. but not when it flies. no way.

ok today wasn't that bad a day in camp as i expected. but the feeling my new campmates give me in camp.. i doubt i'd ever be close to them on a personal level, only platonic working relationships. ah must find a way to cease all this negativity in me.